In our busy lives, there are several options promising to end the chaos so many of us experience. Here are a few recommended sites to help curb your time crunch and, in general, have a better day:
Out of Milk (Outofmilk.com) - This is a super-easy, intuitive app that helps users not only build and manage multiple grocery lists, it also has a pantry list and a simple to-do list system. Users can manage this app from a computer or smartphone with syncing and sharing features, so busy Moms can now delegate a quick stop to the market to others. Cost: FREE
Cozi Family Planner (WorkingMother.com) - Keep your entire family on track by storing everyone’s activities in one spot. email important reminders; send text to-dos; even create a monthly e-newsletter. Cost: FREE
Goby (iTunes.com) - Find cool things to do with the family on weekends and holidays. Log in once and receive location-based recommendations, complete with directions and contact info. Cost: FREE
Personal Closet (Personal-closet.blogspot.com) - Organize your closet without messing up your house and save time. Personal Closet Lite allows you to have your custom closet. Sort your clothes, and accessories as you like! Decide what you want to wear every day. This app even has a packing feature to help you pack for your next trip. Cost: FREE
My Fitness Pal (MyFitnessPal.com) - Lose weight with MyFitnessPal, the fastest and easiest to use calorie counter for Android. With the largest food database of any Android calorie counter (over 1,700,000 foods), and amazingly fast food and exercise entry, we’ll help you take those extra pounds off! Cost: FREE
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
3 Things That'll Happen When You Go After Your Career Dreams
We’re told from the time we’re born that we can grow up to be anything we want. Our parents, teachers and guardians instill the belief that the sky’s the limit and anything is possible.
Yet as we age and go on to high school, college and finally the real world, our options slowly begin to seem fewer and farther between.
But what changed between now and then?
Are we different people? Did our hopes, dreams and priorities change? Or maybe we just got comfortable?
For most of us, it’s a combination of all of these things. We grew up, got a dose of reality and opted for the safer, more conventional route. Sure, when you were little, all of those famed “roads less traveled” didn’t sound too bad—especially if all of those great things were waiting for you at the end. But now that you’re out on your own and sort of know what these roads entail, they seem less than welcoming.
So instead, you opt to settle for mediocrity. You somehow convince yourself that the responsible adult thing to do is stick with it and ignore all of those passions you once had. You convince yourself to accept your new reality.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t once think that way, too.
Looking back, I couldn’t feel more ridiculous about just how wrong I was.
I had a nice, well-paying PR job with a thriving company. It offered competitive benefits, plenty of vacation and countless other perks I could list off—yet, I was miserable and dreaded going to work every day.
Finally, one day, I could no longer take it and decided to make the leap. I was officially going to leave the soul-sucking job and chase my dreams—a decision I likened to leaving the respectable, proper man everyone wants you to marry for money to be with the love-struck hippie who lacks direction. It might not have looked like the logical choice, but for me it FELT right, and my heart was happy.
But getting to that point was definitely not easy. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions filled with input from everyone from my mother to the mailman and decisions I never thought I’d have to make. So if you’re considering making a similar leap, you need to be ready for what might come your way.
Here are three things you’ll likely encounter on your journey:
1. People will think you’re crazy… and then tell you why
After I put in my two weeks’ notice, I felt like I had a sign on my back that read “Please come tell me why I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.”
At first I was annoyed by the comments and reacted defensively, explaining the reasons for my decision, until I realized I owed these people no explanation. After all, it was MY life, not theirs.
While some people offered honest, genuine input and advice, the majority seemed to voice their opinions out of fear and misunderstanding—which is to be expected since, in their eyes, I was rocking the boat and going against the grain.
So when or if this happens to you, take it all in stride. You might have to force a smile and feign politeness, but keep your thoughts to yourself and your eyes on the prize.
2. You will feel exhausted
Making a big career change is no small task, especially if your new pursuit is in a completely different field. Odds are you will find yourself at the bottom of the workplace food chain, but don’t let that discourage you.
You might have to put in extra hours and sacrifice your social life for a bit, but it will be worth it. We all have those moments where we long for our old schedule, but remind yourself of the agony and general blah-ness that came with it, and you’ll persevere. As they say: no pain, no gain.
3. You will face new challenges
With this change will likely come unfamiliar challenges. They might even be a bit uncomfortable and scary. But rather than cowering from these challenges, try to embrace them. They are new opportunities that will be the foundation of your growth and change.
Be prepared and willing to fail. After all, you didn’t come all this way to back down, now, did you?
Yet as we age and go on to high school, college and finally the real world, our options slowly begin to seem fewer and farther between.
But what changed between now and then?
Are we different people? Did our hopes, dreams and priorities change? Or maybe we just got comfortable?
For most of us, it’s a combination of all of these things. We grew up, got a dose of reality and opted for the safer, more conventional route. Sure, when you were little, all of those famed “roads less traveled” didn’t sound too bad—especially if all of those great things were waiting for you at the end. But now that you’re out on your own and sort of know what these roads entail, they seem less than welcoming.
So instead, you opt to settle for mediocrity. You somehow convince yourself that the responsible adult thing to do is stick with it and ignore all of those passions you once had. You convince yourself to accept your new reality.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t once think that way, too.
Looking back, I couldn’t feel more ridiculous about just how wrong I was.
I had a nice, well-paying PR job with a thriving company. It offered competitive benefits, plenty of vacation and countless other perks I could list off—yet, I was miserable and dreaded going to work every day.
Finally, one day, I could no longer take it and decided to make the leap. I was officially going to leave the soul-sucking job and chase my dreams—a decision I likened to leaving the respectable, proper man everyone wants you to marry for money to be with the love-struck hippie who lacks direction. It might not have looked like the logical choice, but for me it FELT right, and my heart was happy.
But getting to that point was definitely not easy. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions filled with input from everyone from my mother to the mailman and decisions I never thought I’d have to make. So if you’re considering making a similar leap, you need to be ready for what might come your way.
Here are three things you’ll likely encounter on your journey:
1. People will think you’re crazy… and then tell you why
After I put in my two weeks’ notice, I felt like I had a sign on my back that read “Please come tell me why I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.”
At first I was annoyed by the comments and reacted defensively, explaining the reasons for my decision, until I realized I owed these people no explanation. After all, it was MY life, not theirs.
While some people offered honest, genuine input and advice, the majority seemed to voice their opinions out of fear and misunderstanding—which is to be expected since, in their eyes, I was rocking the boat and going against the grain.
So when or if this happens to you, take it all in stride. You might have to force a smile and feign politeness, but keep your thoughts to yourself and your eyes on the prize.
2. You will feel exhausted
Making a big career change is no small task, especially if your new pursuit is in a completely different field. Odds are you will find yourself at the bottom of the workplace food chain, but don’t let that discourage you.
You might have to put in extra hours and sacrifice your social life for a bit, but it will be worth it. We all have those moments where we long for our old schedule, but remind yourself of the agony and general blah-ness that came with it, and you’ll persevere. As they say: no pain, no gain.
3. You will face new challenges
With this change will likely come unfamiliar challenges. They might even be a bit uncomfortable and scary. But rather than cowering from these challenges, try to embrace them. They are new opportunities that will be the foundation of your growth and change.
Be prepared and willing to fail. After all, you didn’t come all this way to back down, now, did you?
Thursday, September 20, 2012
5 Tips to Resolve Conflict (Before it Gets Out of Control)
Avoiding a conflict won't get you anywhere. Here's what you need to do to nip it in the bud.
I'm sure you spend a lot of time dealing with conflicts between employees at your company. Sometimes I think I should have gotten a masters in psychology, rather than a law degree. Those who earned an MBA anticipating a career as an entrepreneur probably never fathomed the time and energy that would go into managing the varied personalities on a team.
Over the years, I've tried different methods to resolve conflicts between employees, including acting as an arbiter, staying out of the situation completely, or even taking one side. But, along the way, I realized that what holds people back in business is the same thing that holds them back in personal relationships: We're all afraid to talk.
We seem to do everything we can to avoid conflict and the person we're conflicted with. What results? Unresolved issues, misperceptions about another person's intentions, escalated negativity, and an overall lack of progress. So my simple solution when you are engaged in a conflict or managing the conflict between others: Talk.
Here are five techniques to make sure a conversation happens as soon as possible.
Realize everyone's good intentions.
Regardless of the issue and how you deal with it, I believe that most people are coming from a position of sincerity and true belief. They're not trying to cause trouble. They simply believe in their position.
Resist the urge to solve the problem.
It's easy to want to take sides to move a decision along. Take the time to listen to the complaints. I tell my folks not to bring me an issue with another employee until they tell me they have already talked to that person and tried to work it out independently.
Encourage in-person conversations.
The only way to resolve an issue permanently is through a real, open conversation, ideally face to face. No email, no social media, no texting. Whether live or over the phone, you need a scenario in which you can listen for voice tone, or watch for body language.
If you have to, take a side.
If two people have already talked and still have yet to resolve the conflict (which, in my experience, happens rarely), offer to help resolve the situation by getting everyone to the table at the same time. Give both sides a chance to be heard, and only then make your decision.
Evangelize your philosophy about conflict.
People love to hear themselves talk about others and be "in the know" about co-workers' complaints. It is a natural response and emotion, but it's also a colossal waste of time. Make sure your message and methodology for dealing with conflict--if you have a problem with someone, stop, think, talk, and resolve--cascades to all levels of the organization.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
3 Ways to Keep Meetings Short (Every Time)
These three steps will keep your meetings from dragging on and on and on.
Getty
You know the feeling. You're in a meeting, and your eyes hurt because you've been rolling them at people who keep talking about nothing. You wonder if they have any consideration for other people's time. The topic at hand is either irrelevant or overdiscussed. You can amuse yourself with your iPad and texting, but getting caught playing Words With Friends is an embarrassing situation and ultimately won't help get the stack of work off your desk.
It doesn't have to be this way. Meetings can be productive without taking a ton of time and sapping your life energy. After facilitating hundreds of meetings and strategic planning retreats, I have found some easy ways to manage the time. Here are three simple ways to protect yourself and others from run-on meetings.
1. Set a Specific and Detailed Agenda
Often meetings are set with only a general topic in hopes that the conversation will take care of itself. This leads to open discussion that can run on forever.- Before a meeting, create a one-page agenda with simple bullet points of the items to be discussed. The best practice is to create a meeting-agenda template for the company or department. This way, anyone scheduling a meeting can create the agenda in a quick and uniform manner.
- At the beginning of the meeting, the agenda should be quickly discussed and approved. People should be a bit flexible in modifying the agenda, as the needs of the group outweigh the need for strict adherence to the original agenda.
- Establish time limits for each discussion. You'll be surprised that the discussion almost always fits the time frame, simply because people will tailor their conversation to fit the time allowed.
- Give a warning when you are a minute or two from the prescribed end.
2. Invite Only the People You Really Need
When you think about it, a meeting with six executives could be costing the company hundreds of dollars per hour. If only two people are having most of the conversation, most of that money is going straight down the toilet. Additionally, the people not involved in the conversation feel frustrated and angry that their time is being wasted.- When you build your agenda for the meeting, list only the people absolutely required for each of the agenda items.
- If not everyone is required for all the agenda items, schedule the discussions so they start with the most people and allow people to leave as their names drop off the list. That way they'll be motivated to keep their own conversations short and to the point so they can get back to work.
3. Create a Structured Close
I was talking with a consultant friend who schedules her one-hour meetings for 50 minutes. This is common among therapists, who need 10 minutes to prepare before meeting their next patient. I asked her why, and she told me that often her clients drag out the end of the meeting a bit. I suggested to her that the best way to solve that problem was the use of a closing process. At the designated 50-minute mark of every meeting, use the same three questions to end the meeting.
- In one sentence, what was your single biggest takeaway from this meeting?
- In one sentence, what is one topic that should be discussed in our next meeting?
- Give one word or phrase describing how you feel about this meeting?
Facilitating efficient meetings isn't extremely difficult, but it takes a little planning and the willingness to get your colleagues on board. The best time to have that discussion is when you see their frustrated faces in the next run-on meeting.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
7 Tips for Creating Your Own Destiny
Kevin Daum
Aug 17, 2012
Are you working on your life or just in it? Here is the perspective and method you need to plan and execute the life and career worthy of your potential.
Getty
I choose otherwise. A close entrepreneur friend, J, and I are taking our annual four days away to determine our futures and hold each other accountable. Here are the tips that will assure us of success.
1. Plan a Preferred Future
As Lewis Carroll said: If you don't know where you are going, then any road will get you there. Both J and I are close to 50, so our 60th birthdays are the milestone for this journey. Twelve years is plenty of time to make course corrections and absorb any external factors thrown at us. Our planning will be specific and measurable. We'll take time to examine and discuss the details of every aspect of our lives, personal and professional, to achieve integrated success and happiness.2. Be Pragmatic
Neither of us will be playing for the NBA at our age (or my height). The future has to reflect what is physically possible with available resources and limitations. Pragmatism isn't in itself restrictive, however; J and I will harness our creativity to design aspirational futures that exploit every opportunity and asset we have. We'll also create filters to keep us from wasting time and energy on what's unachievable or irrelevant.3. Decide the Who, Not the What
We're defining who we want to be at 60, not what we want to be doing. The who centers on passion, core competencies, and core satisfaction, such as material requirements. If I know who I truly want to be, I can detail what to do, own, resources I need, etc. I can also determine what not to do, own, etc., focusing time and resources where required.4. Be Honest
J and I will challenge each other constantly to get to the truth of who we are and who we wish to be. There will be no quiet politeness on this trip (not that I'm capable of it). I can't let J believe his own stories and rationalizations, causing misdirection and distraction. Warning: Allowing this dialogue requires intimate knowledge of each other and great trust. Pick your accountability partners wisely.5. Consider the Tools Around You, Old and New
Every resource is important. On my old list is Napoleon Hill, who nearly 100 years ago connected creative visualization to success. And I will also consider new resources like crowdsourcing. Although I'm a natural skeptic for overhyped Internet trends, my friend and talented designer Elena Kriegner inspired me with her KickStarter campaign. It's simple, interesting, and elegant (like her jewelry), which is why it's gaining traction, unlike many others. In this planning exercise, no resources, new or old, are off the table to achieve my desired future.6. Ignore the Naysayers
I live for constructive criticism. But outside perspective that is baseless conjecture or stems from emotional baggage (think dissatisfied family or friends) is destructive for achievers. Put these people in a box where they can't distract you from your ambitions. Find people who get it, and put them in your corner. Engage them in your preferred future, and help them achieve theirs.7. Don't Settle for Mediocrity
Although being the next Steve Jobs or U.S. President is likely off our agenda (as it should be), J and I both want to be pushed to the limits of our potential. Too many people settle for what is easy rather than engage their energy and creativity to create something different and meaningful. Then they wonder why their work has no significance. I choose to pursue the Awesome Experience.
People who take a reactive approach to growth and development will suffer the same fate as companies, managers, and employees who let the markets, technology, and competitors determine their destiny. The game of life rewards aggressive players who leverage their energy, smarts (note that I didn't say intelligence), and creativity to determine and obtain the life that truly makes them happy. As Jim Collins points out in Great by Choice, good and bad luck comes to all; it's how you plan and execute that determines your return on luck.
Note: If you're interested in learning more about this process, contact me. I can share more specifics and tools from my small-group facilitations on preferred futuring. Perhaps you are ready to live your preferred future. Don't hope for it; determine, plan, and execute.
Monday, September 17, 2012
The Secret to Being Self-Taught: Curiosity
One thing most self-taught (and self-made) people have in common is curiosity—immense, driving curiosity. If you can develop your curiosity and have patience, you can learn anything on your own.
Self-taught designer Tobias van Schneider has been asked by various people how to become self-taught. The answer, he says, is everything starts with curiosity and a willingness to learn. With those two things, everything happens by itself, because becoming self-taught is really a natural process:
Being Self-Taught | Tobias van Schneider
Self-taught designer Tobias van Schneider has been asked by various people how to become self-taught. The answer, he says, is everything starts with curiosity and a willingness to learn. With those two things, everything happens by itself, because becoming self-taught is really a natural process:
Everything starts with curiosity and YOUR first step. Just listen to your instincts. My instinct told me that I should take the devices [I was curious about] apart, look how they work, and then put it back together-No one told me that. When you force yourself to this kind of process, everything else happens on your way.There are things you should do to further develop and sustain your curiosity so you can learn more. Van Schneider lists a few tips that include surrounding yourself with people who are "better" than you (or crazier or just different) and also those who make you feel good about what you're doing.
Being Self-Taught | Tobias van Schneider
Monday, September 10, 2012
The value of work
Lately, I've spent a lot of time wondering what is the value of my time spent working. For the past 25 years I've worked at least one full time job and usually a part time one as well. For 19 of those 25 years I've been a Mother.It seems I've spent countless days working 10 - 12 hours, only to come home and begin a marathon of cooking, cleaning & homework. My children and husband patiently waiting for me to frantically move from one task to the next.
It is important to note that in all of this activity I have not been an absentee parent. I attended school events, helped out with fundraisers & community activities and even coached a cheerleading squad for 4 years, all while working at least 40 hours a week. I have never questioned my ability to be a good mother, until now.
Perhaps I am getting old, maybe I'm just tired, but I wonder if I would have been a better Mom, if I wasn't trying so hard to be a good employee. Recent events within the company I work for, have made me question the loyalty of my employer. I am accustomed to the employer questionning the loyalty of its employees, not the other way around. But as I enter a new school year with two of my three children I am aware that they need me to be there for them. While I realize the importance of the work I do for my employer, I also wonder how flexible they are really willing to be with me; am I valuable enough to them, that they will allow me to work more independently with less physical presence?
I guess the value of work is relative to the quality of my life in all aspects, not just the 9 to 5 grind!
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