You Can't Fire Your Kids: February 2013

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Mommy Bloggers Are Tearing Apart Marissa Mayer

Though some at Yahoo concede that the company's remote work culture has gone badly wrong and needed to be fixed, Marissa Mayer's decision to end the practice by June isn't going over well elsewhere.

She's facing some particularly vocal criticism on parenting and "mommy" blogs for not understanding the plight of the working mother, despite being the first woman to become CEO of a Fortune 500 company while pregnant.

Kelly Steele, in a post appearing at scarymommy.com:

Did Marissa Mayer actually have a baby or was that like a ploy for press or something? To me, she just seems so out of touch with the reality of the American family. (If you haven’t heard, Mayer, the CEO of Yahoo!, recently pulled the rug out from under her employees on any and all flexible, work from home arrangements.)

.... So, you may be able to please Wall Street with your decision to completely axe all flexible work arrangements, but I believe you just pissed off and weeded out a very talented pool of current and future employees who I hope are able to find work with more forward thinking companies.

Denene Millner at mybrownbaby.com writes:

I knew from the moment the then-pregnant Mayer parked her Louboutins beneath the grand desk in the corner office of her Fortune 500 company, vowing to take only a short working maternity leave with her firstborn, that your girl would not and had no plans whatsoever to help the American workforce pave the way for a newer, more modern employment paradigm for working mothers.

.... Dare I say that for a company trying desperately to innovate, Mayer’s ordering workers back to work seems neither progressive, inspiring or smart.

... I know this much: rolling out of the bed, grabbing my computer and getting right to work without worrying about getting dressed, commuting and shooing nosy co-workers out of my office while I tried to get my work done was a godsend on the few occasions that I got to telecommute when I actually worked in an office. And having a boss that understood the dilemmas that come with sick children or a babysitter who didn’t show up to work or school closings and who trusted me to get my job done just made me more loyal—made me work harder to prove that she didn’t get it wrong by letting her foot up off my neck and allowing me to be both a dedicated employee and mom.

Sara Welch at the BabyCenter blog writes:

I’m disappointed in Marissa.

I had high hopes that a young, female CEO — one who was openly pregnant when she signed on for the job — would bring a fresh perspective and some more, well, trailblazing.

This move seems completely out of touch with the modern workplace — one, I might add, that makes no bones of invading almost every second of life via blackberries, laptops and cell phones.

Worse, it is totally out of touch with the very stretched lives of the vast majority of working parents who don’t have the benefit of a $300 million cash cushion and all of the work-life support that kind of money can buy.

Estelle Erasmus at blogher.com:

Her decree, uttered with all the certainty that an empress can have from her ivory citadel, was that no longer could Yahoo employees work remotely (aka from home, or anywhere else that's not the office) anymore.

"Speed and quality are often sacrificed when we work from home," says the memo from the human resources department, and reprinted by Kara Swisher on allthingsd.com. "We need to be one Yahoo!, and that starts with physically being together."

This proclamation assumes that Marissa Mayer is living in the real world today (which she is not); that Yahoo is a relevant company (it is not), and confirms that Yahoo, a technology company follows a construct of the working world straight out of the Mad Men era. Way to join the 21st century Yahoo. Not.

All of this is just plain wrong, not just for women but for PARENTS.

From a blog post at phdinparenting.com:

As a past manager of a team and currently a consultant who works off site and hires subcontractors who work offsite, I am appalled. I'm not appalled at the so-called lazy employees. I'm appalled at the complete lack of management skills at Yahoo. If you can't tell whether your employees are productive or not if they aren't sitting in a cubicle a few feet away from you, that says a lot about your lacking managerial skills.

Apparently, to Ms. Mayer, I'm more valuable when I'm sitting in my car for two or more hours each day than I could be if I used that time to either work or to do other things that make me a more productive employee (like relaxing, exercising or preparing healthy food).

... Maybe it's just me, but a technology company that insists collaboration can only happen in person is an obsolete technology company.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Get Real: Working From Home Does Not Destroy Productivity

Yahoo's new policy requiring everyone to be in the office is an example of bad and backwards management thinking.

jeremyhiebert/Flickr

"Speed and quality are often sacrificed when we work from home. We need to be one Yahoo, and that starts with physically being together. Beginning in June, we're asking all employees with work-from-home arrangements to work in Yahoo offices. If this impacts you, your management has already been in touch with next steps."

Oh really? Speed and quality are often sacrificed when we work from home? I'd like to see the statistics behind that. This is a memo from Yahoo HR Head, HR head Jackie Reses. Rest assured, though, HR doesn't have this kind of power. This must come from the top, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer.

It sounds like a line that was pulled out of thin air in order to justify a policy that is reminiscent of 1977. Sure, back in those days, unless you were an outside sales person, it made sense that you'd place your behind in a cube every day. Mail was the only way to get documents from one person to another. It was absolutely impractical to have people work from home.

Likewise, if you're manufacturing widgets, it generally makes sense for the entire assembly line to be in one room. But, unless I'm mistaken, Yahoo is located in the present and doesn't make widgets.

Ironically, the same memo references Yahoo's multiple locations: "From Sunnyvale to Santa Monica, Bangalore to Beijing--I think we can all feel the energy and buzz in our offices." I'm shocked that they aren't making everyone relocate to Bangalore. If we want that "energy and buzz" that comes from working together, shouldn't we work together?

Just how does any company with more than one location succeed without that togetherness?

Huffington post Senior Columnist on Life/Work/Family, Lisa Belkin, wrote:

I had hope for Marissa Mayer. I'd thought that while she was breaking some barriers--becoming the youngest woman CEO ever lead a Fortune 500 company, and certainly the first to do it while pregnant--she might take on the challenge of breaking a number of others. That she'd use her platform and her power to make Yahoo an example of a modern family-friendly workplace...

... Rather than championing a blending of life and work, she is calling for an enforced and antiquated division. She is telling workers--many of whom were hired with the assurance that they could work remotely--that they'd best get their bottoms into their office chairs, or else.

I am a big fan of companies being able to determine their own destiny and their own policies. Marissa Mayer should be able to require every employee to be in the office every single day. She should be able to manage everyone by butt-in-seat time rather than by productivity. But she does so at her own peril.

In my experience, it's the insecure managers who need to know where their employees are every second of the day. Who cannot judge end products and differentiate between a good one and a great one, who instead have to define quality as quantity.

This will be a huge blow to employee morale.

Even if an employee wasn't currently working from home, knowing that that is no longer an option will make them feel a little bit more disgruntled. A little less valued. And a whole heck of a lot less family friendly. Workers can spend an extraordinary amount of time commuting, especially in the California areas where Yahoo has offices. (I know nothing of Bangalore or Beijing, but I suspect commutes are no picnic there either.) Just allowing employees to skip the commute one or two days a week can be a tremendous boon.

Not everyone should work at home. There is some benefit to being able to speak with coworkers on a casual basis. But, it doesn't mean that there isn't some benefit to allowing people to work from home--either a few days a week or all the time.

Besides, there is this fabulous tool available called "the Internet" which allows your employees to share documents in real time, and something else called "cell phones" which allow your employee to be reached at the same number, whether she is in the office or at home. Perhaps Mayer hasn't heard of either of them yet. Which may explain why this new policy has been issued.

My prediction is that Mayer will experience enough backlash on this that the policy will be quietly set aside before it even fully implemented.

Monday, February 25, 2013

7 Business Lessons We Can Learn From the Oscars

Everyone is gearing up for the Oscars—one of the most glamorous and talked-about red carpet events of the year. The entire media world is paying attention, and global audiences watch the best creative, artistic, and athletic superstars in the world dress to the nines and celebrate their accomplishments. But don’t be fooled; the performance isn’t nearly over for these stars, who are under a lot of pressure to play their best at acceptance time. PR reps are on hand, last minute touch-ups are a must, and the business lessons are ripe for picking.

There’s a lot to be learned by examining the examples they set for us on the public stage. Here are seven lessons from awards season we can use to prosper in business.

Prepare the details and know your story. The stars have a flock of personal assistants to keep track of all their loose ends. As a businesswoman, take care of yourself in the same way. Be over-prepared for daily work issues such as meetings and events. Dress one step better than necessary at the office. Know a couple of great places to take clients to lunch at a moment’s notice. Be ready to throw out the title of a recent news article about your industry. Little things matter; they add up and spell “impressive” to your boss. Also, telling some of the back-story about your major accomplishments adds to the allure of your performance and solidifies your professionalism. Adele’s E! red carpet interview at the Golden Globes is an excellent example of this.
Look the part. Know “who” you’re wearing. Celebrities get this question at every event. They are representing the designer as well as making a fashion statement, and you can do the same at work. Wear clothes that are made well and look good on you, and talk about it. Compliment your co-workers on their style, and they’ll comment on yours. This shows you care enough about what you’re doing to get dressed up for it. Don’t forget the details of fashion as well. You never know when you’ll be asked to perform for the Mani Cam (take care of your nails, as your hands speak for you!). Be ready for Glam Cam; your 360-degree view looks different than your half-view in the bathroom mirror. The perpetual pro is Jennifer Lopez. She knows the rules and makes or breaks them on her terms. Her Grammys interview is clearly not her first.
Practice makes perfect. It doesn’t look the same on camera as it does in real life. Prepare for the big event in the real environment—lighting, audio, presentation, props, timing, etc. Repeat the names of your most important audience members (your clients). Don’t neglect anyone on your management team (your supervisors). Remember your fan club (administrative staff). These are the people who propel you to success. Know what you want to say when you win, and sound sincere. Compare the SAG acceptance speeches of two winning ladies, Julianne Moore and Jennifer Lawrence. Did you notice a difference? Which one did you like better, and why?
Network. Don’t miss your chance to network! Introduce yourself to your hero. Have questions and compliments ready, and go for it! This works well at conferences as well as at black tie events. Tweet about it. Take pictures. Use the platform to build your audience and elate your followers. Meet the veterans (compliment them on mastering their art/business) as well as the newbies (they’re the up-and-comers you might work with one day when they are the headliners). So while Tina Fey and Amy Poehler entertained us at the Golden Globes, sharp businesswomen know this is the time for major networking.
Shine. Personality counts. Practice positive body language. Look interested when others talk; it makes you look more interesting yourself. Smile! Someone is always watching. Accept wins and compliments with sincerity. You do fabulous work, so own it! Be proud! If you lose, do so with grace, and give the winner her props. For inspiration, check out Tory Burch’s exuberance over her acclaimed New York Fashion Week show for Fall 2013.
Master public speaking. Professionals, whether performers or businesswomen, are always asked to give a clip for the cameras.
Revel in the moment. You are exceptional at what you do. Say it humbly, but own the moment. LL Cool J said, “When I look at [my Grammys], they inspire me to strive for excellence.”

And now you have homework: Watch and learn. The Oscars air on Sunday, February 24. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to evaluate these and other business lessons during this Super Bowl of awards season. Who impresses you with her eloquence? Who’s sincere acceptance speech was well-rehearsed, complete, engaging, and uplifting? Who paid attention to detail? Who dressed to impress? Which actress would you promote in your next big project? And most importantly, what will you take away from this onscreen business lesson?

Sunday, February 24, 2013

7 Signs You're Ready to Be Your Own Boss

Before they were great leaders, they were great employees. Most accomplished entrepreneurs and executives built their success on a solid foundation.

shutterstock images

It seems that everyone wants to be an entrepreneur these days. Everyone wants to be the boss and run their own show. I can certainly understand the motivation. The idea of doing your own thing, of ruling your own destiny, is certainly an attractive one. Besides, the job market sucks.

That's why there's a nearly insatiable demand for start-up and leadership advice.

But here's the thing. The vast majority of you are putting the cart before the horse. The characteristics that will distinguish you and your career are developed, not when you're the boss, but when you're an employee.

You see, all the accomplished entrepreneurs and business leaders I know built their success on a solid foundation. What starts with your parents and teachers, continues with your managers and mentors. Maybe you'll become the manager, the teacher, the successful leader. But only if you were a great employee first.

Here's what it takes:

You manage your responsibilities, not your personal brand. Look, I know personal branding is a big deal these days, so let me be very clear about this. If you're great at what you do, your personal brand will take care of itself. It's the same with great products. The customer experience speaks for itself. Likewise, business isn't about you, it's about what you can accomplish. That's your brand.

You tell the cold, hard truth. And you do it for no other reason than because it's the right thing to do and you care about the company and its business. You don't worry about the consequences. Contrary to popular belief, accomplished leaders and executives know better than to trust yes-men. I've always valued people who say what's on their minds and I myself have never sugarcoated anything. CEOs truly value that, and my reputation stands on it to this day.

You always find a way to meet your commitments and get the job done. If you're motivated to move mountains to meet your organization's objectives and driven to do whatever it takes to satisfy a customer, then you're bound to be a winner in the business world. Those attributes are valued above all others.

You don't interview particularly well. Half the articles on business sites are about interviewing. Granted, if you can't get past the interview, you won't get the job. But on-the-job performance is really all that matters to your career and your company's success. I've always looked for smart, motivated people who could do the job. And I didn't need a bunch of bizarre interview questions to make that determination. Interviewing really isn't rocket science.

You seek achievement, not power or authority. You want to go places, but on your own merits, not by bullying or pushing people around. You want to make good money, but by contributing to the growth and success of the business, not because you feel entitled to it in some way. You don't want things handed to you; you want to be challenged. That's what drives great entrepreneurs, gets them up in the morning, and keeps them working long hours.

You ask "How high?" People always sarcastically ask, "If he tells you to jump, do you say, 'How high?'" While I've never been accused of being a pushover, I've always believed in having a customer service attitude. The popular term these days is "servant leadership." Same thing. I didn't get to where I am today by asking people what they can do for me, but by asking what I can do for them. Funny how well that's worked out over the long haul.

You don't whine--ever. A lot of people seem to think that companies should exist to serve their needs. That's not the way it is and it's definitely not how it should be. I know that's not a popular viewpoint, but it's the truth, nevertheless. And you know what? Good companies and managers have known for decades how to engage, empower, challenge, and motivate employees without indulging whiny, entitlement behavior.

So, before you set your sites on running your own show, first try to be a great employee. Everything else will fall into place. It may not be popular, but for just about all of you, it is the way to go. I guarantee it.

Steve Tobak is a management consultant, executive coach, and former senior executive of the technology industry. He's managing partner of Invisor Consulting, a Silicon Valley-based strategy consulting firm.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

How to Refresh Your Brain--in 10 Minutes

When you go from one task to the next--all day long--your mind constantly races to catch up. Hit the reset button with this underrated trick.

Getty

Andy Puddicombe is a former Buddhist monk and co-founder of Headspace, an entrepreneurial venture designed to demystify meditation and make it easily accessible to all audiences. In a recent TED talk, Puddicombe promotes an idea that almost sounds too easy to be true: refresh your mind in just 10 minutes a day and you might be happier at work.

Puddicombe seeks to provide “meditation for the modern world,” eliminating stereotypes of incense and cross-legged monks. And he might just be on to something. Here are two problems that plague modern-day workers--and how Headspace’s bite-sized meditation plan can help.

Problem #1: Inability to Focus

“The average office worker changes windows [on her computer] 37 times an hour,” Headspace’s head of research Nick Begley says in a meditation tutorial.

According to Begley, when your mind changes gears that rapidly, part of your brain is still engaged in the previous task and you don’t have all of the attention and resources necessary to concentrate on the current task. This slows down productivity and reduces your ability to filter relevant information from irrelevant information.

Problem #2: Stress

When people get stressed, there is a part of the brain called the amygdala that fires up the “fight or flight” part of the nervous system that helps you make quick, impulsive decisions.

“It signals to our hormonal system to secrete adrenaline and cortisol and increases our heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure, so we can escape this immediate physical danger,” says Begley.

The problem arises when there is no immediate physical danger--when, say, you’ve forgotten to hit “save” on an important document and your computer crashes, or you arrive unprepared for an important business meeting. The “fight or flight” impulse is not actually helpful in those situations and merely puts undue stress on the body, Begley explains.

The Solution

Refreshing your brain is easier than you think. Here's the first and only step: Do nothing.

Puddicombe recommends simply setting aside 10 minutes each day to quiet your mind. Practice observing thoughts and anxieties without passing judgment--simply experience them. Focus on the present moment and nothing else.

“We can’t change every little thing that happens to us,” he acknowledges, “but we can change how we experience it.”

Friday, February 22, 2013

How Productive People Turn Anxiety And Fear Into An Advantage

One of the biggest killers of productivity and success is fear. Fear of putting themselves out there, fear of how they'll be perceived by others, or something as simple as a fear of public speaking can paralyze people, wasting hours and days that could have been used more effectively.

Fear can actually affect a whole organization, according to former P&G CEO A.G. Lafley. People, even executives, fear making choices, especially big strategic ones, because it makes them accountable for the consequences. Choices are always a risk, so they get passed along or don't get made.

That's not something anyone can entirely get rid of, but there are ways to overcome it, get back to work, and even make anxiety work for you. Most successful people don't lack fear. They just manage to find a way to act and persevere in spite of it. We've gathered a number of tips from Psychology Today and the latest research on how to do it.

View it as inevitable

Some things will fundamentally give you a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. Whether it's presenting in front of a group, meeting with a particular manager, or making a decision that affects many people, some things will always produce anxiety.

But it doesn't have to be something that slows down. The more it's viewed as something inevitable, part of the routine, the less power it has.

Find the anxiety sweet spot

Becoming overanxious can be debilitating, but research finds that most people have a "sweet-spot," a place where there's enough anxiety to make you alert and motivated, but not so nervous that you're debilitated.

So recognize the benefits of anxiety, and use it as motivation to get prepared and push yourself to perform well. Channeling it in that direction instead of into a loop of self-doubt leads to a better result.

Get angry

Anger is usually a negative emotion. But it can be valuable as an alternative to fear. Angry people are more likely to feel optimistic and take action, and a burst of a stronger emotion can get someone past their fear long enough to make a decision.

"Decatastrophize" it

What's the worst possible outcome? And how likely is it to happen? Most times, even a negative outcome won't be as catastrophic as we make it out to be in our heads. Recognizing that anxiety comes from how we think about things, and firmly connecting consequences to reality is a powerful tool to reduce fear.

Very few things are the end of the world, and most of the time, it's possible to enlist other people to help make the worst very unlikely.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/how-productive-people-turn-anxiety-and-fear-into-an-advantage-2013-2#ixzz2LWBGRKpW

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Best Bosses Don't Have To Work On The Weekends

An incredible work ethic is something many expect from executives, especially young ambitious ones. They tend to wake up early and barely sleep.

It's a signal of dedication that might seem good, but actually takes a toll personally and on a company. Their attitude, that they have to do everything themselves, can be detrimental to a company and its culture. It means that others at the company don't feel like their boss trusts them to do real work, and it can mean that no one's being trained or developed to do the job in the future. That schedule's also a great way to burn out and see personal relationships deteriorate.

In an interview with The New York Times' Adam Bryant, Interface Inc. CEO Daniel Hendrix shared the conversation that convinced him that effective management is about more than keeping incredible hours.

"I was working 24/7 and really had two jobs: C.F.O. during the day, then an investment banker at night ... Delegation wasn’t really part of the equation because I was afraid that if I gave it to somebody, they would fail and then I would fail.

The company brought in a president above me who was really charismatic and dynamic. One day he was in the office on a Sunday and he said: “Every time I’m in here on Sunday, you’re in here working. I’m not impressed by somebody who can’t get their job done in five days. I’m really not. It’s about balance.” And I had two young kids. He said, “Go out and hire some people and have a life.”

That's when he started delegating, started building a team, and making sure employees had the tools to do their job.

If a manager has a massive project, and his employees aren't able to finish it, working late nights, early mornings, and weekends might be the only way to get it done. Instead of accepting that as normal and resigning themselves to that schedule, the most effective bosses figure out how to fix problems for the next time.

Everything bosses do sends a signal to employees. Working weekends certainly sends the message that hard work is expected, but can also have unintended consequences.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Sheryl Sandberg: 'The Most Important Career Choice You'll Make Is Who You Marry'

At the 2011 IGNITION conference in New York, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg talked about what it's like being one of the most powerful women in Silicon Valley.

She also revealed the advice she gives to women: "The most important career choice you'll make is who you marry. I have an awesome husband, and we're 50/50."

She spoke passionately about how there's a "stalled revolution for women" right now, and how having a supportive spouse — a real partner — will play a huge part in your success.

She said one of the biggest mistakes women make is choosing to "leave before they leave" a job, and that there's a huge problem in our society when people ask husbands of more-successful wives, "Are you doing OK?"

Men always lean forward in their careers, no matter where they're going, she said, and women more often lean back. And that's a huge mistake — because the person leaning in "will one day be your boss."

Sandberg also cited two studies: 1) when it comes to GPA, men usually remember their number as slightly higher, and women usually remember theirs as slightly lower; and 2) people like men who are successful, but not women who are.

But people seem to like Sheryl Sandberg.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

You Need To Make Time To Dream Big

Life is busy. And chaotic. And frantic. And that’s with you being successful. On your best day you’re dying. Getting pounded by a million unanswered questions and expectations.

The only way to get your soul back is to dream big dreams. That’s the only way to stay recharged and in control of your future.

When you dream, you burn a little bit brighter.

For a few moments when you dream you leave behind everything that weighs on your soul and you soar above the fray. You are free of the limitations of time and expectation and effort.

Everything you can imagine is possible. You are invincible and unbelievably brilliant.

And you need that. You need a break from the chaos and stress of your daily living. You need respite from the pressures of achieving your expectations. You need to make time to dream. It doesn’t replace hard work. It isn’t a substitute for learning, loving, or leading.

It’s irreplaceable in its own way.

A simple moment in time when you take comfort in knowing that your vision for you is big enough to change the world. Big enough to keep fighting for. So if you never stop to get motivated, you end up dying a slow death. You wither on the inside. Dry up. Waste away.

So dream on. Be vigilant with your dreams. Be violent in your conquest of them.
Make time to keep dreaming.

Read more: http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/02/attitude/if-youre-not-dreaming-youre-dying#ixzz2L5PZ1rFs

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Sheryl Sandberg's No. 1 Piece Of Advice For Women Is Spot On

Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg once told Business Insider's Henry Blodget that the most important career decision women make is who they choose to marry.

For Julie Smolyansky, CEO of Lifeway Foods, that rings true. She has raised two daughters while leading the kefir company, and says having a supportive spouse has been one of the keys to her success.

Smolyansky says her husband is someone who "sees parenthood as a joint effort; we have alternative gender roles within our family, or kind of equal gender roles."

He's made it possible so that she can focus on building Lifeway's business and brand, and was able to double her company's sales during the recession. "We just need more role models for the new family, new gender roles," she says. "There's lots of evidence that shows the new stay-at-home-dad emerging in family life."

Everyone's watching Marissa Mayer, but Smolyansky says it's just one step in the right direction. "We only have 17 percent women sitting in Congress, which is making decisions, agendas, policy and setting budgets that affect all of us. If women make up 52 percent of the population, we need to be represented in every single aspect of society. And equally so, we need men making 50 percent of household decisions."

Friday, February 15, 2013

Why You Should Run Your Family Like A Business

Businesses don't have much of the sort of yelling and chaos that is sometimes seen in families, especially those with young children.

In a piece at The Wall Street Journal, Bruce Feiler describes the plight of the Starr family. The father, David, is a software engineer and his wife Eleanor takes care of their four children, one of whom has Asperger's Syndrome, and another who has ADHD.

Overwhelmed by their home life, they applied a software development technique David used in his work called "agile development" to their family. It's not something you would ordinarily think to apply to home life. The technique was first laid out in the Agile Manifesto in 2001, and it has spread beyond just software to become a general management technique. Tenets from the manifesto include:

Business people and developers must work together daily throughout the project.

The most efficient and effective method of conveying information to and within a development team is face-to-face conversation.

At regular intervals, the team reflects on how to become more effective, then tunes and adjusts its behavior accordingly.

For a family, that means something like a weekly 20-minute meeting to discuss what's working or isn't, and coming up with plans to change or adapt. The meetings adapt three questions from agile development, Feiler writes:

1) What went well in our family this week? 2) What didn't go well? 3) What will we agree to work on this week? Everyone offers answers, then we vote on two problem areas to focus on.

Starr told Feiler that "having weekly family meetings increased communication, improved productivity, lowered stress and made everyone much happier to be part of the family team." And when Feiler tried it with his wife, he writes that "the meetings transformed our relationships with our kids — and each other."

A second technique is creating a mission statement, a set of 10 values the family believes in. That focuses discussions on the things the family does right as opposed to problems, and is an easy way to discuss how to improve in the future.

Kids are as changeable as any business environment, and benefit from both structure and being able to participate. Though it sounds odd at first, when properly adapted, these techniques can work very well.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

9 Daily Habits That Will Make You Happier

Happiness is the only true measure of personal success. Making other people happy is the highest expression of success, but it's almost impossible to make others happy if you're not happy yourself.
With that in mind, here are nine small changes that you can make to your daily routine that, if you're like most people, will immediately increase the amount of happiness in your life:

1. Start each day with expectation.

If there's any big truth about life, it's that it usually lives up to (or down to) your expectations. Therefore, when you rise from bed, make your first thought: "something wonderful is going to happen today." Guess what? You're probably right.

2. Take time to plan and prioritize.

The most common source of stress is the perception that you've got too much work to do. Rather than obsess about it, pick one thing that, if you get it done today, will move you closer to your highest goal and purpose in life. Then do that first.

3. Give a gift to everyone you meet.

I'm not talking about a formal, wrapped-up present. Your gift can be your smile, a word of thanks or encouragement, a gesture of politeness, even a friendly nod. And never pass beggars without leaving them something. Peace of mind is worth the spare change.

4. Deflect partisan conversations.

Arguments about politics and religion never have a "right" answer but they definitely get people all riled up over things they can't control. When such topics surface, bow out by saying something like: "Thinking about that stuff makes my head hurt."

5. Assume people have good intentions.

Since you can't read minds, you don't really know the "why" behind the "what" that people do. Imputing evil motives to other people's weird behaviors adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions leaves you open to reconciliation.

6. Eat high quality food slowly.

Sometimes we can't avoid scarfing something quick to keep us up and running. Even so, at least once a day try to eat something really delicious, like a small chunk of fine cheese or an imported chocolate. Focus on it; taste it; savor it.

7. Let go of your results.

The big enemy of happiness is worry, which comes from focusing on events that are outside your control. Once you've taken action, there's usually nothing more you can do. Focus on the job at hand rather than some weird fantasy of what might happen.

8. Turn off "background" TV.

Many households leave their TVs on as "background noise" while they're doing other things. The entire point of broadcast TV is to make you dissatisfied with your life so that you'll buy more stuff. Why subliminally program yourself to be a mindless consumer?

9. End each day with gratitude.

Just before you go to bed, write down at least one wonderful thing that happened. It might be something as small as a making a child laugh or something as huge as a million dollar deal. Whatever it is, be grateful for that day because it will never come again.

Originally published at inc: SALES SOURCE | Geoffrey James

Nov 5, 2012

Monday, February 11, 2013

The 21 Worst Valentine's Day Ads Ever

If you're in need of a mood killer, show your significant other one of these awful Valentine's day ads.

Considering that the National Retail Federation predicts that Americans will spend up to $18.6 billion on Valentine's Day this year, it's only natural that companies will want to pull out all the stops for romantic promotions.
These are the Valentine's Day ads and promotions, however, that will have people wishing they were single.
As romantic as a Pizza Hut engagement package sounds, or the Bronx Zoo's campaign to get dudes to name cockroaches after their girlfriends, we'd rather pass on the promotions.
From insulting diamond ads that depict women as gold diggers to bizarre restaurant ads that depict forks fornicating, these are the worst Valentine's Day ads out there.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/the-21-worst-valentines-day-ads-ever-2013-2?op=1#ixzz2KfDUCiAV

6 Powerful Ways To Stand Out At Work

Great employees spend the majority of their time helping other people succeed: Their company, their employees, their customers and vendors and suppliers... the list goes on and on.

Great employees also spend some time helping themselves succeed, both for "selfish" reasons and because their success creates success for others.

To succeed you must stand out from the crowd. Here are six ways:

1. Be first with a purpose.

Lots of employees, managers, and business owners are the first to arrive each day. That's great, but what do you do with that time? Organize your thoughts? Get a jump on your email?

Instead of taking care of your stuff, do something visibly worthwhile for the company. Take care of unresolved problems from the day before. Set things up so it's easier for employees to hit the ground running when they come in. Chip away at an ongoing project others ignore.

Don't just be the one who turns on or off the lights – be the one who gets in early or stays late in order to get things done. Not only will your performance stand out, you'll also start to...

2. Be known for something specific.

Meeting standards, however lofty those standards may be, won't help you stand out.

So go above the norm. Be the leader known for turning around struggling employees. Be the owner who makes a few deliveries a week to personally check in with customers. Be the manager who consistently promotes from within. Be known as the employee who responds quicker, acts faster, or always follows up.

Pick a worthwhile mission, then excel at that mission. People will notice.

3. Create your own side project.

Excelling at an assigned project is expected. Excelling at a side project helps you stand out.

For example, years ago I decided to create a Web-based employee handbook my then-employer could put on the company Intranet. I worked on it at home on my own time. Some managers liked it but the HR manager didn’t so it died an inglorious death.

I was disappointed, but the company wasn't "out" anything, and soon after I was selected for a high visibility company-wide process improvement team because my little project made me "that guy."

The same applies for a business owner. Experiment on a new process or service with a particular customer in mind. The customer will appreciate how you tried, without being asked, to better meet their needs, and your business will become "that business."

4. Put your muscle where your mouth is.

Lots of people take verbal stands. Few take a stand and put effort behind their opinions.

Say you think a project has gone off the rails; instead of just pointing out its flaws so you can show everyone how smart you are, jump in and help fix it.

Everyone talks about problems. The people who help fix them stand out.

5. Show a little of your personal side.

Personal interests help other people to identify and remember you. That's a huge advantage for a new employee or a company competing in a crowded market.

Just make sure your personal interests don't overshadow professional accomplishments. Being "the guy who does triathlons" is fine, but being "the guy who is always training and traveling to triathlons so we can never reach him when we need him" is not.

Let people know a little about you; a few personal details add color and depth to your professional image.

6. Work harder than everyone else.

Nothing – nothing – is a substitute for hard work. Look around: How many people are working as hard as they can?

Very few.

The best way to stand out is to out-work everyone else.

It's also the easiest way, because you'll be the only one trying.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Perspective

I'm a busy mom and I feel like I complain a lot... Then there are days like today, when I stop for just a minute, look around and realize how Lucky I am. Thank you kids for letting me be your Mom. I know you'll never read this, but I need to say it anyway! I hope there are others who read this and give their kids a big hug, too.